i have always been the skinny girl, until suddenly i wasn’t. i became the “normal” girl, but i don’t want to be that one. when i was skinny i was happier. i never gave my looks a second thought, never really cared. now i’m counting calories, eating only in the presence of other people so they won’t notice something’s wrong, working out in secret and constantly feeling shit about myself. even when i get skinny again i know i’ll never be the same happy, carefree girl. it’s sad and i’m really tired of this. of everything.